thirlweed:

imperriefabulous:

thirlweed:

how can i say “i want to kill you” to someone without looking rude

i would much rather my hands close around your air passage ways as you fall into a never ending slumber at my own hand.

is this ed sheeran

jesuschristvevo:

being hotter than me is selfish and rude

THERE IS NO BETTER MOMENT AT A CONCERT THAN WHEN THE SINGER STOPS SINGING AND THE CROWD CONTINUES THE SONG AND YOU SEE THEM ALL SMILE ITS SO PERFECT

stepchildofthesun: crystalmeowth: whorem0anz: My dog looks like a fuzzy penis. That is all, bye. i sat here laughing for like ten minutes I almost had a heart attack last night while my husband and I were lying in bed reading and his entire body starts shaking. I’m all ARE YOU OK ARE YOU HAVING A SEIZURE ARE YOU CRYING WHATS HAPPENING and then i realize he’s just laughing hysterically- so hard that he CANT MAKE NOISE And I go: Are you thinking about that damn penis dog again? him: *silent nodding while he claps like a retarded seal*

stepchildofthesun:

crystalmeowth:

whorem0anz:

My dog looks like a fuzzy penis. That is all, bye.

i sat here laughing for like ten minutes

I almost had a heart attack last night while my husband and I were lying in bed reading and his entire body starts shaking. I’m all ARE YOU OK ARE YOU HAVING A SEIZURE ARE YOU CRYING WHATS HAPPENING

and then i realize he’s just laughing hysterically- so hard that he CANT MAKE NOISE

And I go: Are you thinking about that damn penis dog again?

him: *silent nodding while he claps like a retarded seal*

hamsterangst:

when you’re singing really loud and someone walks in and you just kind of

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